Disclaimer #1 – I am unaware nor have I researched how quickly banshees grow, but I bet it’s freaking fast.
Disclaimer #2 – Maybe your mom can help.
Disclaimer #3 – But, I doubt it. Depends on your mom.
The other day I pulled up in my entirely non-automatic truck (no power steering, no power anything. I hope the whole your car represents who you are bit isn’t true. Wes Lapioli: No Power Anything, is pretty pathetic) and I saw this:
Woah. What the crap is that thing? It seriously grew out of nowhere. The kicker is – we didn’t plant it. This was a couple weeks ago too. It’s out to the sidewalk, and it has about 20 pumpkins growing in there now.
While kinda cool – it is also freaking me out. Could there be vigilante gang bangers that go around secretly planting huge plants in people’s yards? Hardcore gang. They’re called The West-side Greens – and they will jack up your yard man.
This whole plant coming out of nowhere caused me to put on my Descartes/Kant/Nietzsche hat (pick your flavor of philosopher).
Is there perhaps something growing inside of me that isn’t me at all? Something I don’t want to cultivate? Something I really don’t want to be, become, and something I definitely did not plant? If I really take sometime and think about who I want to be – I sadly find a whole lot of uncontrollable pumpkin plants.
Chalk it up to culture, media, weakness, family history or the West-side Greens – it doesn’t matter. This stuff is a part of who I am, and I don’t want it to be. Anybody manufacture any good soul weed (crazy unstoppable plant) killer?
What do you do to try and kill unwanted characteristics/patterns in your life? As a dude interested in human behavior I’d love to hear. If you don’t know – lets figure it out before these banshee plants rip our faces off.